How to: Be Happy

There is nothing I can say that will make you have an epiphany as to what needs to happen in your life for you to be happy.

I can give some generic advice, however. More like a set of steps and self-realization.

Step 1) Sit down with a pen and paper

pen_paper
Step 2) Make a list of everything in your life that you are currently happy with (This could be your job, your relationship, your home, your friends, etc.). You will refer back to this list when you are feeling like giving up.

list
Step 3) Now make a separate list of things in your life that you are unhappy with (Could be the same examples as above)

unhappy
Step 4) Prioritize the “unhappy” list of what is most important for you to change.

prioritize
Step 5) One at a time, from most important to least important, try to find a solution to just that specific thing. For instance, if you are unhappy with your job… You need to figure out why you aren’t happy with it. Is it a position you settled for because the pay was decent? Maybe you like the position, but the pay sucks. Maybe you absolutely can’t stand your boss or your coworkers. Figure out the reason/s you are unhappy with it. Now, next to each one of those reasons, write a possible solution… I like the position, but the pay sucks- Maybe you are able to ask your boss for a raise. If that’s out of the question, maybe it’s time to evaluate how important liking your position is in comparison to what you earn. If you’d rather get paid more than really enjoy your job, it might be time to start job hunting. Update your resume and network on social media for openings that meet the same criteria you are looking for. It may take a while, but that is life. If you are unhappy in your relationship, again… Ask why? Are they unfaithful? Leave. Are they selfish? Leave. Are they bad in bed? Again, figure out how important that is to you. Are you unhappy because you aren’t in a relationship? This is probably the most common. Single people feel unhappy because they want that one person. That’s human nature. To be loved, to have companionship, to have someone you share experiences with. These are wants, not needs however. Of course we get lonely when we don’t have a partner. We all do. It’s hard to not think about it and desire it, and crave it so deeply that we try anything and everything to find “the one.” I don’t know about anyone other than myself, but looking for love has never led me to love. It’s led me to lust, or a man that I want to be “the one” so I only see the qualities in him I want to see. I look past the ones I don’t like, the ones that I’ll find 6 months-1 year down the road. After the initial spark is gone, and I’m left with this human who has always been that person, but I longed for love so much that I ignored the qualities that can’t align with mine. My only advice here would be that time goes on regardless of our menial problems. You might as well take that time to focus on improving your life, reaching goals you’ve set, taking actions to improve the other areas in your life you are unhappy with. When you don’t focus on love, sometimes that’s when it finds you. Easier said than done, I know. Our brains are wired to find companionship. But hey, if you’ve got more of your shit together when you do find someone, it will be so much better.
Step 6) Once you’ve gone down your list and figured out why you are unhappy in these areas, and come up with possible solutions to them, it’s time for action. These changes aren’t going to happen overnight, so focus on the one that’s most important to you. Take the time necessary until you are satisfied in that area. This could be one swift change that might happen in a day or two (quit your job, leave your current no-good relationship, etc.), or this could take a week or two, or even a couple months.


Step 7) Once you have moved one thing on the “unhappy” list onto the “happy” list, it’s time to focus on the next thing. Do this over and over until everything can be removed from the “unhappy” list.

stop

That’s my advice folks. If I were talking to one person specifically and knew their situation, I’d be able to give it better. But since I’m literally giving advice on a blog, to anyone who might possibly read this, it’s going to be fairly generic. All I can say that applies to everyone is this: If you want change to happen, a change has to be made. Keep going, and try to enjoy the small things.

 

 

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