Wrong Person

So, as I was scrolling through Facebook earlier, there was one of those ads to click on that would tell you “11 people who accidentally text the wrong person”. This immediately made me imagine my own mishap, and I thought I would share. It made me realize that throughout my life, I’ve had a lot (more than I imagine is normal) of occasions where I’ve publicly (or privately) embarrassed myself, or have had bad luck that in turn becomes hilarious for those around me (and myself afterwards). So I’ve decided to share my humility with all of you.

I will advise you prior to reading this (or any future posts), I have never been a straightened arrow kinda girl. I’ve gotten into some trouble, I’ve made bad decisions, and I seriously can’t make this stuff up. All of these events are true, and the details of the events are accurate. So without further ado, I will simply title this event as Wrong Person:

I was younger and going through a phase. I had been talking to a guy for a couple weeks (we’ll call him Bob), and the last night we hung out, we had a few drinks and we started getting kind of touchy. One thing leads to another, and you can imagine what happened next. Unfortunately, I’ve never seen a smaller penis in my life. I mean, what do you even do with it??? My sister had asked me to come to her house later because she wanted me to meet a guy (we’ll call him Joe) she thought I’d like (she was always trying to set me up). So after a really odd, nonproductive sexual encounter, I left. I went over to my sister’s, hung out, then she told me to text her later what I thought of him… I left and was at the gas station pumping gas, so obviously my multi-tasking skills were lacking. I started to text my sister, and I wrote, “Well, Joe seems pretty cool, but what will I tell Bob? If I stop talking to him now, he’ll know it’s because he has a small wiener.”…. Aaannnddd, you can guess what happened next. Right there in front of my eyes, was instant regret. It was an old phone (not a touch screen), where it said “Sending to Bob” with an image of an envelope. It took what seemed like a whole 5 minutes. Why do they have the “cancel” button if it won’t let you cancel sending the message? I was desperately hoping to see this:


It went through. Bob got the message which said he had a small wiener!!!!


He responded with, “I do?”… Um… Dude, you have to know. I called my sister immediately to ask her what I should do… Her response: “I don’t know on this one.” Thanks sis. What makes the whole thing worse… I worked with him. It was a bit awkward after that.


So, there you have it. That was one of the many times I have (for lack of a better term) fucked up. I feel bad for the guy really.


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